Re-watch Review: CABIN IN THE WOODS (2012)

I remember when Cabin In The Woods was first released in theaters in the spring of 2012. It’d been a while since I’d seen something scary on the big screen and BloodyDisgusting.com had just given it four-and-a-half skulls (out of five) and called it, “a blood soaked instant classic.” This was the first I’d heard of it and couldn’t remember having ever seen any promotional material. Naturally, I had to go see this “new” modern masterpiece and so I bought my ticket without having even the slightest idea for what I was about to watch. As it so happens, Cabin In The Woods turned out to be for horror what Nickelodeon’s Rango (2011) was for the western; a self-aware meta-comedy stacked to the gills with tropes, themes, and references from the classics that made the genre(s) famous. 

Written (allegedly) in three days by Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard (who also directed), Cabin In The Woods wastes no time revealing its premise; what if Wes Craven’s Scream (1996) was given The Truman Show (1998) treatment but with zombies, demons, and vengeful Lovecraftian elder-gods. The film follows five spry college kids off to spend a relaxing weekend at, where else, a cabin in the woods. Lo and behold the early 20-somethings are unwittingly cast as cliched archetypes for a ritualistic sacrifice closely resembling a 1980’s B-slasher movie where they’re both the stars and victims. Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford play the unrepentant stage-managers of the show, Hadley and Sitterson; who, through a NASA-inspired control station manipulate the conditions encompassing the cabin, actors, and monsters in order to produce, what else, a horror movie. 

Richard Jenkins as Sitterson 

Seldom do horror films ever reach high levels of praise over time and and even more seldom do horror-parodies ever reach such status; but with 92% on Rotten Tomatoes and a 72-rating on Metacritic it’s obvious that the film has resonated enough with cinephiles and horror-junkies to create a modern cult classic. This should come as no surprise for the only other noteworthy horror-parody property of the last two decades has been the Scary Movie, movies whose greatest accomplishment was lowering the bar. In all seriousness though, Cabin In The Woods is bloody well written with the narrative functioning on a duel-perspective level; half the runtime focuses on the college kids and the cabin while the other half focuses on the Hadley and Sitterson pulling the proverbial strings of this gruesome human-puppet show. This is a brilliant excuse for the characters to point out the tired old tropes and cliches synonymous with horror films, while offering astute explanations that speaks volumes on the horror community and industry that peddles such escapism. The dialogue’s wonderful and has loads of that good ol’ fashion Joss Whedon banter that shows up in everything the man touches. There’s hardly any boring or dull talking scenes in a film that’s more chatty than most films with a family of pain-worshiping redneck zombies. Drew Goddard’s directing is perfect for the horror fanboy/fangirl that dwells inside us all by paying close attention to detail on all the horror references without ever making it feel forced. At no point to the references detract from the narrative which shows a considerable amount of restart on Goddard’s part but his direction really shines in the third act where all semblance of sanity is cut out and drowned in gallons of blood and rhubarb-red chunks. I won’t ruin the act for those who still haven’t seen it but it should be mentioned that the MVPs of the production are the team members of the art department responsible for the film’s army of nightmare creatures. Also, it’d be a damn shame not to address Fran Kranz’s performance as Marty, the residual stoner of the cast, who knocks it out of the park as the hyper aware fool whose always the funniest person in the room and by far has the best line in the movie; “I kinda dismembered that guy with a trowel.”

"I kinda dismembered that guy with a trowel."

Reverently, Cabin the the Woods is a deep and punctilious well of horror movie knowledge the actual “horror scenes” of the first and second acts can seem a little shallow. The “behind the scenes,” scenes are piquantly executed with the poise and silliness of Woody Allen’s, Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex: But Were Afraid to Ask (1972). The “horror” surrounding the cabin, on the other hand, looks and feels watered down and sterile. I know that the film’s thesis is on the conventions of cliched American horror movies but by pointing out and  mocking said cliches the audience is still forced to endure them. It also doesn’t help that the way in which these scenes are presented are done so in the same manner as most modern horror films; digitally polished and lacking teeth. A key trait of most horror classics, (including the ones alluded too in Cabin), is the look of brummagem film that’s gritty and haphazardly edited by one rich only in passion. There’s a charm that comes easy with handmade-looking horror and can help evoke a sordid, realistic tone to combat the strange and bizarre. A problem I have with many big-budget modern horror movies is that they look too clean and perfect. This can make an otherwise fear-inducing scene feel bland or obtuse. Cabin In The Woods, while clearly knowledgable in cinema’s history of horror, looks too polished-to-perfection at times. This makes for more than a few scenes where the action/subjects are more “cool to look at,” then “scary” by any means. It would have been nice to see a more pronounced contrast of the film quality between the “horror” and the “comedy” scenes, but that’s just my two-cents. 

Flaws, aside, Cabin In The Woods is a marvelous conjoined twin of a feature where one sibling’s a guile comedian and the other just saw 2003’s remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and attests that it’s “more scarier than the original.” Still its heart is in the right place so I can’t be too cross with it. This is an emporium of violence, creativity, and commentary that’ll make casual audiences feel smart even if the final product’s just as terrifying as the Robot Chicken sketch that parodies it. Cabin In The Woods is currently available on Netflix and Amazon Prime so check it out this Halloween season.